I heard we made out
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
