No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
