So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
