How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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