I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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