We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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