btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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