oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
