She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
