I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
