Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
