the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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