I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
