my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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