i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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