How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
