I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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