Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
