Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
