ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
