youre lurking in front of me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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