Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
