Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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