Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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