"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
