She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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