pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
