OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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