her vagine was all disorganized.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
