i don't like sucking hair
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
