You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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