i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
