Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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