Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
