my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've blown a few things in my day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
