How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
