Porn is love you can see.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
