yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
