I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
