I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
