Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
