I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
