I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
