i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
