sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
