I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
