plz talk dirty to me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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