Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to align my fucking chakras
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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