yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
