I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
