at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
